It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize