I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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