Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
