I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize