Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize