I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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