hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
