Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
