So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
