I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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