Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
