I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
