so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
