and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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