And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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