btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
