i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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