i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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