I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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