nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
