so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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