I'm passing your future prison.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
