i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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