I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
