two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
