I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
