FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she smelled like a LAN party
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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