i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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