Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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