It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
