It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
