Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
