Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
