I don't usually arrange sex via text message
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
ok first of all what the fuck
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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