and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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