clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize