Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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