If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
