Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
