you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
