roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
