would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize