He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
