The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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