I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
