Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Randomize