Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
