Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize