Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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