By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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