I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
