I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
