If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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