yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize