You're my little dorito
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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