Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
