I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
