i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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