You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
