She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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