not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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