and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
