im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
