Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
