i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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