he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
